people change

I have come to a point in my life where everything has changed.

I have a different home. I am going to a different school. I am watching different TV shows. I am listening to different music. I am finding different hobbies. I am making different friends. I am speaking a different language. I am in a different country.

But today, just now, I have realized the one thing I wasn't ready for. When I get back, things are never going to be the same again. My life will never be the way it used to be, and I LOVED the way things used to be. I honestly had the most perfect life imaginable. And I still do. I love Belgium. I love my friends here, I love the food, I love everything about it.

But when I get home, I will never again be able to live my old life.

My best friends are changing. They are in college. People are moving away from me. And I have no one to blame but myself; I am the one who packed up and travelled across the world. But, it scares me a little bit. I'm not ready for my life to change so drastically. Thus far, this entire month for me hasn't felt real. After this year, I'm going to return back to the United States and my real life will resume. But right now, my grades don't matter. It doesn't matter what people think of me. It is just hard for me to grasp the fact that I will spend ten more months of my life living in this dream, and then I will return home. But I'm not going back to the same life that I left. I will be returning to something new, something different. I will return to people who have changed. And I will have changed. 

But me changing, THAT I anticipated. I did not think I would be able to live in a foreign country for a year and NOT change. That is not possible. But. I wasn't ready for the rest of the people in my life to change as well. And they are.

Some for the better. Some for the worse. But everything, at every second, is changing. The second hand on the clock is moving. My hair is growing. The wind is switching directions. The Earth is rotating around the sun. Things are not staying the same.

Things never stay the same.

I should have anticipated this. I should have seen it coming. I just wasn't ready for the enormity of the situation.

I needed to get my thoughts out. I will write another blog post after dinner with more tangible information.